Pre Season

For the first time in a VERY long time, I'm actually looking forward to starting pre season training.

I've been working very hard at the gym (though I seem to be getting fatter at the same time as getting fitter), and I'm going to buy myself some orange football boots. Only for a joke, mind, as I'm a bit of a football boot Nazi. If your boots aren't mostly black and you play against me, expect to get kicked.

The 2009/10 season was a strange one for me, but I enjoyed it. It started out as player/assistant manager at Crockenhill FC. A club with plenty of history, and a club that could go far. I joined them because I wanted to be part of something special. I wanted to be a major part in taking the club forward. But a few things happened early on that scuppered that.

Initially, I was sold a 'dream'. I was told the plans for the club, and I was told I would have an input in to what was going to happen. Almost immediately, though, the goalposts were moved (so to say!) and the 'dream' that was close to reality slipped in to the total fantasy region. I wasn't happy. I'd turned down good offers to accept the challenge at Crockenhill, and felt a bit cheated. I had got good players to the club, players who were earning £100+ a week elsewhere to come and play for me for free because they wanted in on the dream too. They pretty much all left when they clocked on to the fact that the dream was just a ploy by the chairman.

Then I had my personal problems. I won't be going in to that, but it was the deciding factor in me leaving Crockenhill. With all that was going on at home, I didn't want to have to go to football and have all the shit that I was being thrown to do (I was coaching, doing team sheets, filling water bottles, putting kits out, putting kits away, being physio). It was too much. So I left. I just wanted to play. So I Joined Bly Spartans.

Joining Bly was one of the best things I've ever done in football. The timing was right - I had all my mates around me there, and it was a good chance to go and enjoy my football.

Bly are the reason I'm looking forward to pre season, specifically my team mates. I had the best time last season - I get on with the manager, I get on with the players and I like that I get to help some young and very gifted footballers along in 'proper' football.

I actually feel appreciated at the club. I've not played as much as I would have liked, but that has been almost irrelevant. The position I play, I have to contest a place with one of my best friends. So I decided to be a striker. And that's why I've bought orange boots!

This has been fun for me to write, and I want to go on, but I'm not going to.

Saturday 3rd July is when I go back for pre season, and I can't wait to see everyone at the club. I miss them!

Can I be Mayor of London please?

I think I'd be a good Mayor, as long as I was allowed to make positive changes. These changes would include....

The banning of Umbrellas

The banning of wheelie suitcases

The culling of pigeons (by standing in Trafalgar Square with a bag of bird seed and a flame thrower)

Compulsory idiot testing for ANYONE wanting to visit

5 metre 'No Stop Zones' at the top and bottom of EVERY stair case/escalator. If you are caught stationary in these zones, expect to be elbowed in the back of the head (at the very least).

Change PCSO's uniforms so they say 'Tour Guide - Ask me for directions'

Obviously, I can't tell you my whole manifesto as nutty Boris might steal all my ideas. But I really think I could have a positive effect and give London back its feel good factor!