That is all
x
Thursday, 28 October 2010
Monday, 11 October 2010
Songs that annoy me
Today I heard two songs that ALWAYS annoy me: Spitting Games by Snow Patrol and The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script.
My reasons are as follows...
With 'Spitting Games', it's the start that does it. The opening few lines....
''I broke into your house last night
And left a note at your bedside
I'm far too shy to speak to you at school''
Now, this makes no sense to me at all. Breaking and entering, plus acting like a proper weirdo stalker does NOT get you the girl! I mean, seriously, rather than just making conversation, is breaking and entering really an alternative? Why not send an email? Or a text? Something, anything, but don't break in and leave a note!
Imagine waking up and finding that weirdo from school, who sweats like a paedo in Toys R Us when he's near you, has broken in to your house and left a note for you in your bedroom? Would you immediately fall in love, or go to the Old Bill, have him nicked and then go get yourself a restraining order? I think the latter.
Also, Snow Patrol generally annoy me.
Right, now on to 'The Man Who Can't Be Moved'. This is pure stupidity.
Imagine if this knobhead stays on his corner for, say, 3 years and then the bird turns up. How does he intend to impress her? With his black teeth? His stinky clothes? Perhaps his Robinson Crusoe beard, complete with rabies or whatever?
Twat. She broke up with you for good reason, I'm not entirely sure going homeless is the way to get her back. Especially if you're gonna stand on a street corner with her picture and a sign. That won't be embarrassing for the girl at all. Plus, he's probably got her number and/or email address. And, probably, her actual address. Write her a little letter. Tell her how much you love her. Then try and move on. (I have no right to give advice, really, but I'm heading along the common sense route)
Oh, and I know I'm the knobhead here really for thinking too much about it, but if you know me, you know I like to moan a bit.
Goodnight xx
My reasons are as follows...
With 'Spitting Games', it's the start that does it. The opening few lines....
''I broke into your house last night
And left a note at your bedside
I'm far too shy to speak to you at school''
Now, this makes no sense to me at all. Breaking and entering, plus acting like a proper weirdo stalker does NOT get you the girl! I mean, seriously, rather than just making conversation, is breaking and entering really an alternative? Why not send an email? Or a text? Something, anything, but don't break in and leave a note!
Imagine waking up and finding that weirdo from school, who sweats like a paedo in Toys R Us when he's near you, has broken in to your house and left a note for you in your bedroom? Would you immediately fall in love, or go to the Old Bill, have him nicked and then go get yourself a restraining order? I think the latter.
Also, Snow Patrol generally annoy me.
Right, now on to 'The Man Who Can't Be Moved'. This is pure stupidity.
Imagine if this knobhead stays on his corner for, say, 3 years and then the bird turns up. How does he intend to impress her? With his black teeth? His stinky clothes? Perhaps his Robinson Crusoe beard, complete with rabies or whatever?
Twat. She broke up with you for good reason, I'm not entirely sure going homeless is the way to get her back. Especially if you're gonna stand on a street corner with her picture and a sign. That won't be embarrassing for the girl at all. Plus, he's probably got her number and/or email address. And, probably, her actual address. Write her a little letter. Tell her how much you love her. Then try and move on. (I have no right to give advice, really, but I'm heading along the common sense route)
Oh, and I know I'm the knobhead here really for thinking too much about it, but if you know me, you know I like to moan a bit.
Goodnight xx
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
''Your secret's safe with me''
I wish this phrase wasn't true with me.
I must look trustworthy. Or something. I get told all sorts. I see it as some sort of strange compliment.
There is a problem, though. When people start telling you stuff, you may already know stuff relating to the situation and it makes things awkward. In keeping a secret, you then may have to start lying to your pals to protect it. You start getting tangled up in all sorts!
That's why I'd rather not know, sometimes.
With me, you know it'll stay secret. But if you'd rather not tell me in the first place, I really wouldn't mind.
Bonjour
xx
I must look trustworthy. Or something. I get told all sorts. I see it as some sort of strange compliment.
There is a problem, though. When people start telling you stuff, you may already know stuff relating to the situation and it makes things awkward. In keeping a secret, you then may have to start lying to your pals to protect it. You start getting tangled up in all sorts!
That's why I'd rather not know, sometimes.
With me, you know it'll stay secret. But if you'd rather not tell me in the first place, I really wouldn't mind.
Bonjour
xx
Friday, 1 October 2010
The Umbrella Dance
I'm glad I'm not working in London today.
Walking around London in the rain is an absolute nightmare for one reason - Umbrellas.
People shouldn't be allowed to use them. Everyone should be given one of those plastic poncho things and be done with it.
Umbrellas, like wheelie suitcases, are nothing but trouble. You see people walking along battling to keep them in the right way. You see 4'10'' women walking along with 6' wide umbrellas. They're awful.
People walking along with umbrellas become oblivious to everyone else around them. You know how your mum always used to tell you that 'you'd have your eye out'? Well, umbrellas WANT your eye out. And it's almost as if they control the person holding them to aim it at you.
When you come face to face with someone wielding an umbrella, you know you will either have to take evasive action or do that thing we Brits do where you both move the same way and then you both say sorry.
Even worse than coming face to face with someone with an umbrella, is being caught behind 2 umbrella carriers going opposite directions doing the 'Umbrella Dance'. You know the one I mean. It's where the carriers start moving left to right (whilst saying sorry) and they lift the umbrella up, and then down, almost with perfect symmetry to the other person. Eventually, after much shuffling, apologising and evasive umbrella movements, both carriers continue their journey (well, they take three steps and repeat the process with the next person).
I would rather chance my luck walking in a bus lane than get caught up in an umbrella dance. And I'd be walking along the bus lane in my nice little waterproof jacket, with hood, keeping nice and dry.
When I go to hell (if such a place does exist), I imagine it to be a long, rainy street, packed with people holding an umbrella in one hand and pulling a wheelie suitcase in the other.
The end
xx
Walking around London in the rain is an absolute nightmare for one reason - Umbrellas.
People shouldn't be allowed to use them. Everyone should be given one of those plastic poncho things and be done with it.
Umbrellas, like wheelie suitcases, are nothing but trouble. You see people walking along battling to keep them in the right way. You see 4'10'' women walking along with 6' wide umbrellas. They're awful.
People walking along with umbrellas become oblivious to everyone else around them. You know how your mum always used to tell you that 'you'd have your eye out'? Well, umbrellas WANT your eye out. And it's almost as if they control the person holding them to aim it at you.
When you come face to face with someone wielding an umbrella, you know you will either have to take evasive action or do that thing we Brits do where you both move the same way and then you both say sorry.
Even worse than coming face to face with someone with an umbrella, is being caught behind 2 umbrella carriers going opposite directions doing the 'Umbrella Dance'. You know the one I mean. It's where the carriers start moving left to right (whilst saying sorry) and they lift the umbrella up, and then down, almost with perfect symmetry to the other person. Eventually, after much shuffling, apologising and evasive umbrella movements, both carriers continue their journey (well, they take three steps and repeat the process with the next person).
I would rather chance my luck walking in a bus lane than get caught up in an umbrella dance. And I'd be walking along the bus lane in my nice little waterproof jacket, with hood, keeping nice and dry.
When I go to hell (if such a place does exist), I imagine it to be a long, rainy street, packed with people holding an umbrella in one hand and pulling a wheelie suitcase in the other.
The end
xx
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