I think I'd be a good Mayor, as long as I was allowed to make positive changes. These changes would include....
The banning of Umbrellas
The banning of wheelie suitcases
The culling of pigeons (by standing in Trafalgar Square with a bag of bird seed and a flame thrower)
Compulsory idiot testing for ANYONE wanting to visit
5 metre 'No Stop Zones' at the top and bottom of EVERY stair case/escalator. If you are caught stationary in these zones, expect to be elbowed in the back of the head (at the very least).
Change PCSO's uniforms so they say 'Tour Guide - Ask me for directions'
Obviously, I can't tell you my whole manifesto as nutty Boris might steal all my ideas. But I really think I could have a positive effect and give London back its feel good factor!
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If this was a Facebook status, I would like it. I'd also suggest banning 'gee' and 'quaint' from tourist vocabulary unless they were being used ironically.
ReplyDeleteWhat have you got against umbrellas?
ReplyDelete